All I Wanted To Speak About CAT

Hey There! Glad you took out time to read my journey to a B-School. Hang on tight since this is gonna be long read. I assure if you end up reading till the end, your emotions will go for a swing.

Let's start with the boring stuff. I happen to be a GEM (General Engineer Male), but not the kind you expect. I have a 95/95.8 in 10th/12th CBSE Board and graduated in Electrical Engineering in 2017 from IIT Ropar. And I can hear a collective voice of most GEMS saying "Jahan humare sapne pure hote hai wahan inka struggle shuru hota hai" and you're goddamn right! With the kind of my profile, I knew all I need is a repectable score in CAT and all top IIMs would be drooling to invite me for an interview. With an early realisation that Coding is not my cup of tea, I decided in my third year of engineering to seriously prepare for CAT and go for an MBA. So, grab your helmet and hop on the backseat as we are about to begin a journey that appear seemingly easy at the onset, yet took 4 years to complete.

CAT 2016 - ('CAT' Gaya)
I joined TIME classes at a deep discounted price for IITians in my third year of engineering. TIME Chandigarh faculty used to come to our campus traveling 40kms one side to teach a class of 20 students. The initial phase was quite like JEE days, where you solve a problem in minimum time and shout the answer just to feel that entitlement. DILR and Quant was a game for us. It was a fight to solve tough problems faster than others, which raised the bar to perform quite high. DILR was my forte and VARC was my weakest spot, but I never felt that. I was confident that if I can understand a passage, I can solve it. Parajumbles felt like a puzzle to crack - much similar to a structured LR set. Days passed by and it was time for my Summer Internship. I had the opportunity to intern at Semi-Conductor Laboratory by ISRO in Mohali for which I decided to stay in campus itself. I tried to set my routine and make time everyday to prepare for CAT, while learning about the IC Fabrication at SCL and writing AIMCATs on weekends. I couldn't figure out any pattern from few initial AIMCATs as the results were shooting North and South every week. At times, I used to get 99+ in VARC and at times in the 80s. The same oscillation was observed in Quants. The only constant was DILR where I always ended up solving 4+ sets and scoring upwards of 95 percentile. It was still a few months to go for CAT 2016 and while every batchmate was talking about placements, I was only concerned on solving sectional tests and AIMCATs and kept campus placement as a backup option for any company that would offer a non-coder profile. With all the efforts I wanted to put in my CAT prepration, I had to balance the semester grades and look out for a relevant placement. Starting September, majority of my friends got placed in top SDE profiles with packages upwards of 25 LPA, but I did not feel demotivated. I wanted to do something that interests me and back then it was an IIM admission. Meanwhile, Deloitte was coming on campus for BTA profile and news spread that it's a non-Tech role and suddenly I was interested in placements. Unfortunately or fortunately as I can say now, Deloitte decided to visit on a National Holiday (2nd Oct) which was a planned day for my sister's Roka. I skipped the test/interview in hope that I will get another on campus offer. Meanwhile, everyone who wanted a non-tech role and could have got it, were recruited by Deloitte that day (mass recruiter, sabka messiah!!) and consequently the peer pressure hit me.

CAT 2016 was supposed to happen on 4th Dec, the Sunday following the End Sem exams. In the few days after the end sems and prior to CAT, I got placed for an Analytics Profile at Cognizant. It was 2nd Dec, just two days prior to CAT and the selection email took off a lot of pressure to perform on the C-Day. I postponed my celebrations to keep myself focused for 4th Dec. Finally the day arrived. In the chilly winter morning of Ropar, Punjab I boarded the college bus with fellow batchmates to drop us at the exam center, a nearby local college. All the checks were done, as I waited in front of my computer screen to hear the word 'Start'. I saw left and right and the room filled with known faces, felt like another end semester exam. I read the exam instructions and the interface was same as AIMCATs and the pattern was unchanged. Phew!! The bell rang, I started the exam with all strategies up and running for the VARC section. As I saw the first question, 'Given below are 5 sentences, you have to arrange them in proper order to form a coherant paragraph' I quickly went for it. The next question, 'Given below are 5 sentences.....' and I started putting them together. I marked the answer and moved on. To my surprise the next question was an RC. And I skipped to find the remaining PJs. When I landed on a random question to realise it's a PJ, I quickly moved next to see whether the next one is as well. Soon I realised that the question types are shuffled. I went back to the 2nd question I solved and found that I ended up wasting 4 minutes in arranging 5 sentences in proper order when it was a question to identify an ODD ONE OUT. Oh Fuckk!!!! I attempted the rest of the section with the thought of losing out on Time and Marks due to a silly goof up. Tried to calm down before attempting DILR, but all hell broke lose when the toughest DILR sets showed up on screen in 10 years. Most DI sets were logic based and involved lengthy calculations. I was completely drained after attempting 4 sets. I was left with a couple minutes and I couldn't have solved another set, so thought of using this time to prepare to go all in on the QA section. Then the QA section happened, and since it's difficult to predict your marks in VARC, I told myself it was a good attempt overall. The results were out by 2nd week of Jan and the entire hostel was running in rooms wanting to hear the good news. I was in a friend's room probably enjoying the 'last days of college' when the news broke. Both the guys who resided in that room scored 99+ (One graduated from IIMB and other one is joining IIMA this year). The friend entered my credentials and I still remember the grim look on my face when the screen read :
OA : 91.47 (59.10/97.05/95.91)

YES!!! That's insane. I must be at my extreme worse to score that low. I quickly digested the fact that IIMs are not going to call me this year but I did not have an iota of guilt for scoring so low since I thought it wasn't the true representation of my capability and I am much more than my VARC percentile. The rest of the months, leading up to the end of engineering era, were spent enjoying my sister's wedding, relaxing with friends and falling back on Cognizant's offer letter.

CAT 2017 - ('CATalyst')
After spending 3 months at home, I got my joining letter and was supposed to report to the Hyderabad office. A new phase of life began. I met new people and learnt something new everyday. I was excited for the work life and thought to myself that I will continue this for a couple years and then go for MBA. After a month of training, I was put on the honeymoon period called 'Bench'. I had plenty of time to prepare, but I was adamant that I am not going for MBA this year as I wanted more experience on the job to get maximum out of the MBA. My PG room mate was also a CAT aspirant and the only prepartion I did that year was solving his doubts. No mocks, no sectionals, just cleared his doubts to get a sensecheck that I am still in the game. Meanwhile, I was earning and spent most of the time partying or exploring new places. I was young, wild and free and I wanted to experience this transitional phase of my life to the best.

CAT 2017 was to happen on 26th Nov but this time I was more excited for 28th Nov, the day of convocation. CAT was supposed to be a mock attempt this year for the real attempt next year. There were talks of my relocation to Bangalore while I was filling the CAT form (which did not happen), so I filled the center as Bangalore and was all set to travel. It was again the forenoon session and I went in with absolutely no pressure. Having experienced the worst VARC and a difficult DILR last year, I was more vigilant and ready for anything that shows up. The instructions and exam pattern did not change. VARC went absolutely great, DILR was again on the difficult side though I managed to solve few easy sets, but Quant was an absolute blunder. I was begging for time to attempt 10 more questions that I could not even visit. A season without mocks meant the mental fatigue took over in the third hour and I could feel that. Lesson learnt for next year, I told myself and walked out of the exam centre to board a flight back home to attend my convocation.

CAT results were out as expected and the season is summarized below.
OA : 96.21 (93.81/95.74/92.70)
Calls : SPJain, IIM Indore, CAP IIMs and PGDBA
Converts : None (Non convertible waitlist in IIM Indore and rejected in GI-1 in SPJ)

I could feel the regret of not converting even the CAP IIMs even though I wasn't serious. Next year I am going for glory. This attempt was indeed the right CATalyst I needed to bounce back on the CAT preparation. Meanwhile, I continued with my job and started CAT preparations in full swing.

CAT 2018 - ('CATastrophe')
This is where the struggle began. I realised I cannot go to the exam center and end up scroring IIM ABC level percentile just like that. So for starters I joined the AIMCAT test series and charted an excel sheet to track my strong and weak performances. I left my PG and moved in with college juniors in a 3BHK in Kondapur. Ended all my social gatherings, only used to work on weekdays and prepare on weekends. I came across Unacademy's CAT veteran Nilanjan Dutta and absolutely loved his approach towards DILR and Quant. I was back to the days where I felt like a student who is learning tricks and concepts. His methods bursted my bubble of overconfidence and I realised there is a lot to improve in the supposedly stong sections with respect to exam approach. Having failed at CAT twice in a row, I decided to fill admission forms of IIFT, SPJAIN, MDI and FMS this year. XAT was always a given, in case CAT didn't work out. But this year I wasn't going to leave any room for improvement. I did not miss even a single mock, attended all live classes of Nilanjan Dutta, practised questions every day without a miss to an extent that my mock scores were constantly north of 150 with a balanced performance in all three sections. I was aiming for the 180 mark in CAT. I was hell bent on getting where I deserve that I did not visit home on Diwali for the first time in my life. The admit card was out. The date was set: 25th Nov 2018. For the first time it was the afternoon session. Everything that could have gone in my favour, was in my favour. I was at the peak of my preparation, took a couple days off to relax, the exam was set at a time when my brain cells were most active. I had a great feeling about this and planned my post CAT trip to home and new year family trip to Rajasthan to rejuvenate. "Congratulations, your tickets have been booked!" - called my dad to inform about the itinerary and ended up on a video call to debug an error he was facing on his laptop. He was happy, I was happy that he was happy and Mom was happy that we were happy. Everything sorted.

24th Nov 2018 : I had this day reserved for relaxing. I always wanted to watch a movie before a big exam like toppers used to mention in their testimonials. After a lazy day of mental de-stress, I called up few friends, then talked to Mom for her advises and finally was wished luck by my Sister. Post dinner, I imagined the entire next day's journey leading up to the CAT exam. Admit card: Check, Google Maps: Check, Uber: Check. I turned on my laptop to watch the first episode of Mirzapur, and dozed off around 12am after replying to best of luck messages. Tomorrow will be the best day of my life and I will rock it, I told myself before turning sides, trying to sleep.

At around 1:00 am, my phone rang and I cursed my friend to call me at this time. I saw the screen and to my shock, it was my sister. At 1 fucking AM on the night before my CAT exam? Red Flag #1

I picked up and what I heard next was her voice asking me to pack some woollen clothes and come home right away. Upon asking the reason, she told that Papa is not well, had suffered a minor heart attack while on his way back from office and is being treated at the best Heart Institute in Delhi. I held myself strong and tried understanding the exact situation. She chose not to tell and just asked me to pack my bag and come home. I obliged. At that moment the only thought running in my head was to protect my dad no matter what. Out of curiosity I called my Brother in law asking me to explain what has happened. While his words were comforting that Dad is kept under strict observation and is stable for next 24 hours, I asked him whether to write the exam and take the first flight thereafter. He simply replied, 'CAT to har saal hota hai, next year dedio, abhi ghar aaja'. Red Flag #2

I was furious as no one was telling me what's going on and I wanted an answer. I cannot go to the airport, wait a couple hours sacrificing CAT without exact information. I called my sister again and she said 'Papa ne bola hai Akshat ko bulalo, milna hai' and then there was no turning back. I was at Hyderabad Airport, my flight got delayed by 2 hours, there was no immediate flight I could catch and waited on the Airport - the worst waiting ever. I called my friend and explained her what happened and she tried to put sense in my brain, and if the two red flags were not enough, I got a call from home informing me that they are shifting dad to a hospital near home in Sonipat. I went crazy. From being treated at the best Heart Institute to moving him in a local hospital in the middle of the night is beyond explanation. Red Flag #3

I called Mom and everytime someone else was answering. I knew this is beyond normal. I knew what is happening. I knew I am being fooled. But who can think of the worst when nobody is calling it out. I boarded the flight with tears and tried to sleep thinking I will meet Dad and fly back to Hyderabad just in time to write the CAT. I landed in Delhi, boarded an OLA and went stright to home. It was a 2 hour journey and the morning silence was getting to my head. As soon as the driver crossed Delhi border and we entered Haryana, he turned on the radio. Morning stories were being played and The first words that echoed were 'Pitaji ke Guzar jane ke bad, ghar ka saara jimma mere sar aa gaya". Red Flag #4

I bursted in tears and told my driver to speed up and make me see my father as soon as he can. As I reached home, my Jiju met me outside and hugged me. That's when I lost my shit. The only ray of hope that he would be in a hospital in Sonipat was gone. I knew what has happened. I went in and crossed a dozen people in my own house and saw what no body else in their life should ever see. In the lobby, my beloved father lying lifeless covered in white cloth and my Mom crying at the top of her lungs. He succumbed to a massive heart attack and took his last breathe around 1:00 AM on 25th November when I was called and asked to come back home. I punched my head so hard and cursed myself for even thinking about CAT while at the Airport. I was numb. No body in their 20s can be prepared for this. The man who was so active for his age, drove to his office in the morning and is no more among us without any disease was a fact we still cannot digest. At the time I was supposed to write the exam of my life, I was cremating my beloved father in my hometown. This is LIFE! It sucks, then it gets better and then it sucks again.

Life toppled overnight. I asked my company to initiate my transfer to Gurgaon. I was extremely lucky to be working in the same project and need not focus on learing a new skill/technology. I skipped IIFT, but gathered enough courage to travel back to Hyderabad for XAT. The airport journey was a flashback. I kept my head strong and ended up scoring 96.85 (cleared all sectionals).
Calls: SPJAIN (XAT based), XL BM
Converts: None (though I reached upto GI-2 at SPJ)
I also wrote PGDBA for a second time and scored 132/150, but ended up being rejected after an Interview that went horrible. But I was not sad. I was thankful that I wasn't selected as there was a lot to be done with handling things at home and an MBA would have left my mother alone at that point in her life. Life is a combination of free will and destiny. There are things which are beyond your control and I was letting that drive my life for the next chapter after a CATastrophic finish to this season.

CAT 2019 - ('Daddy-CAT')
As I recollected my father's small talks and our discussions on value adds of an MBA, I decided I would bell the CAT 'one last time'. But this time was different. My dream of an IIT-IIM tag was no longer what I wanted. Everything changed. I started my preparations with a target on FMS/MDI/IIFT for the ease of availability for my mom. I took up the AIMCAT series for another TIME. I could not keep up to a routine, a lot was going on in my head. My weekdays were spent in Gurgaon and I traveled back to Sonipat every Satuday morning after writing a mock at TIME center. I wasn't sure of CAT. I wanted to switch my job as soon as possible and as luck would have it, I got an offer for a suitable profile at American Express, Gurgaon. Two months during my Notice period, I wrote mocks consistently and moved to AMEX on 1st Novemeber 2019. I felt welcomed, loved the job right from day 1, office culture was amazing and I felt this could be it. Maybe the break that I needed was not an MBA but a job that could be career defining.

With that in mind, I went to my CAT center on 24th Nov 2019, still shaking as to what happened this day that year. As the clock struck 9:00 am, I prepared myself for yet another attempt, forcing myself to deliver my best and let destiny take care of the rest. As soon the exam was over, I knew I did well, but the quant section was again underattempted. I did not bother recollecting and went straight to my home to prepare for rituals for my father's first death anniversary, the next day. Amidst all the chaos, me and mom decided to permanently move to Gurgaon as I was sure of either working here or do my MBA from Delhi/NCR. This time, CAT authorities shared our response sheet so one can get a sensecheck of their performance and I knew this is going to be the year when I will break that 99+ milestone.

The results were out a day prior to XAT. I was excited after a very long time and already crammed my CAT ID and Password. What I saw on the screen next, gave me goosebumps.
OA : 99.07 (90.91/99.55/98.75)
On a regular CAT attempt, I would have been disappointed since this is not an IIM ABC level percentile. But this year, it was such a joyous movement. Immediately I thanked Dad and knew this is a sign to tell something that lies ahead for me. To summarize this season,
Calls: IIM Lucknow, IIM Indore, IIM Bangalore (PGP-BA), CAP IIMs and MDI Gurgaon
Converts: IIM Indore, MDI Gurgaon
Waitlists: IIM Lucknow, IIM Bangalore (PGP-BA)
Everyday I used to travel from home to office and see MDI from the cab, I used to tell myself this is going to be my future college. Today, as I pen down this journey of CAT, which happened to be life defining for me, I will be joining the PGPM class of 2022 at MDI Gurgaon. The IIT-IIM tag is not important than my roots anymore. This is what my mom wants too. This is what my father would approve too. On this father's day, I want to 'daddy-CAT' this season's success to him, the man because of who I am.

In loving memory of my father.

Akshat Jain
MDI Gurgaon C/o '22

Christopher Gardner : [voice-over] This part of my life... this part right here. This is called "happyness".